I am drunk. Well, I have had 1 and 1/2 bottles of wine, and I am tipsy. And perhaps the best thing that can be said for me in this state is that mostly I just apologize for being human and express my gratitude for having someone like William in my life. I would be in bed with him right now (he has to get up early, and midnight is late for him), but I am sitting in the back yard, in the dark, hoping to catch some of the Perseid light show promised tonight. A couple of shooting stars so far, but not much else. I’m in the city. *shrugs*
We sat together and talked a bit about the past and the future. The past is a done deal, and we don’t regret any of it. The future could be alright. The present is hardly worth discussing, except to the extent that we apologize to each other and hope/promise to be better. We do our best to be kind to one another.
I wear my Nana’s wedding ring on my left ring finger, and though I am larger than her in every conceivable (physical) way, the ring slides up and down my bony finger like nothing. I don’t know what it means to have committed to something this long. I am restless and aggravated. William watches me, wondering why I stay when I feel this way. And I stay, knowing that this will pass. That I made the right decision 20 years ago. Some stars will shoot across the sky, and others will flicker and stay.